The holidays are upon us. And like it or not, your life is about to be invaded by the relatives you only see once a year, last year’s recycled gifts and nothing but “A Christmas Story” on TBS for the next thirty days. How’s a gal to survive? Lucky for you, I have a few tips…
Invest in a flask. Here’s a festive one…
Take it with you everywhere from Thanksgiving until New Year’s. Fill it to the brim with a little bit of Bailey’s to dribble into your cocoa or go straight for the Scotch and take a direct swig every now and then. Especially if Aunt Esther starts hitting on your significant other (again) or you need to disinfect after your hubby’s mouth-kissing Grandpa Gene tries to slip you the tongue.
Start scouting your local thrift shop for ugly Christmas sweaters and white elephant gifts now. You know you’re going to need at least one or two of each. Bonus points if you can rig the sweater with lights or music and find a white elephant gift that’s actually a white elephant. It could happen, really!
Decide on what you’re bringing to the office or neighborhood potluck early on so there’s no last minute rush to the grocery store or desperate surfing on Pinterest. I recommend this recipe for Reindeer Balls… creamy, savory and seasonally appropriate. If you can get past the name, you’ll enjoy popping one, or even a pair, into your piehole. I promise.
Have a stack of movies ready to go so if you’re in the holiday spirit you don’t get stuck watching whatever’s on cable. Some of my favorites… “The Holiday” with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz, “Four Christmases” with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, and “Thor.” Yes, “Thor.” Because watching Chris Hemsworth in action, massive hammer in hand, is my little way of saying “Merry Christmas” to me.
Last but not least, if you’re one of the lucky little elves who gets to hit the road or the skies to travel this holiday season, load your Kindle or phone with some happily-ever-afters in case you get stuck somewhere for days on end. A couple recent reads that I thoroughly enjoyed…
“Semi-Scripted” by Amanda Heger… a sweet, heartwarming story about two people falling in love under hilarious circumstances. When Marisol travels to L.A. to compete for a grant to support her family’s non-profit in her native Nicaragua she runs into Evan, an intern at a late night show. Set against a backdrop of “Let’s Make A Deal” meets “The Tonight Show,” Marisol and Evan fake date for a segment on the show until things turn too real. Rom-com at its best with plenty of humor.
“Well Hung” by Lauren Blakely made me blush and squirm in the stands while I speed-read during my kiddo’s gymnastics class. Obviously I love a hero with a huge hammer (ahem, see Thor above) and reading Wyatt’s story from his POV was like spending a few hours in Hammer Heaven. I’ve added Blakely to my auto-buy list (she actually has a new book releasing TODAY!!!) and thanks to her I’ll never be able to visit Vegas or enjoy a ride on a roller coaster quite the same way again.
Finally, Barbara Longley’s “What You Do to Me” about another hammer-slinging handyman had me smiling into the late night hours. Haley has destroyed her house in an attempt to get over her ex with some DIY home improvements. When Sam, the Twin Cities’ handsiest handyman is hired to help piece her place back together, she gets more than just a remodel.
If you’re looking for something to read over the coming weeks, I’d highly recommend any one of them, or, depending on how much you like spending time with your relatives, maybe all three!
So there you have it… a few quick tips for surviving the weeks ahead. Hopefully you all come through unscathed and don’t lose any of your Ho’s along the way!